You either have the things you want or you have the excuses you made.

Sometimes I think I'd rather do anything except succeed.

I've lost and regained over 2 maybe 3 hundred pounds. I've been financially stable, though not long. I've finished my Massage Certification as a Holistic Health Practitioner, but it took 13 years. I might even finish my Associates Degree in Health Sciences though it's taken 15 years and I've changed majors three times. At this very moment, I'm supposed to be baking and picking up some last minute presents for a party this afternoon. I still have a lot of time BUT...I'm playing on Facebook and typing this blog and starting to read a Manga - simultaneously.

I am beginning to realize that, even in small things, I'm afraid to succeed. I let my time be soaked away by little things. Facebook lately, but it could be movies or reading or even taking a walk if I can't figure anything out to do. Sometimes I'm scared to even wake up and let sleep steal away the day. I anesthetize myself to be so out of it that I can be excused from accomplishing anything. Excuses. That's what you have. You either have the things you want or you have the excuses you made; not a very satisfying trade.

This is a really bad tactic if an Apocalypse were approaching. I definitely wouldn't be ready. Which is funny since "Not Being Ready" is a really big fear of mine, like a "Having Nightmares About It" sort of Fear. But it looks like even the motivation to prevent future catastrophe is not enough sometimes to light a fire under my ass.

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins." ~Bob Moawad

Meh. I guess that I better decide to go start my journey, but I'll come back to this later. Provided the zombies don't come at which point - the fudge is moot. That's all I have to say.