Just the Facts

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I'm a Chronologically-challenged Optimistic Procrastinator with some extra chunk, indescribable hair and blue-greener eyes re-entering into the interesting worlds of College and Caffeine and Self-induced mania. I day dream about Zombies cause sometimes an Apocalypse is less scary than Real Life. I'm a hustler baby and I'm making it all up and I alternately kiss ass and rub it to make my living. BUT Life is still good cause my mom thinks I'm special and people like me; they really like me!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

My efforts to avoid the Walking Death with a Fat Ass.

 In May of 2012, I weighed 217lbs. This is the heaviest I've ever been in my life. In. My. Life. I took Summer Semester off academically at the college and just did exercise classes. I lost a whole 5 lbs. from May to July because my eating was out of control.

On July 12th to the 15th, I went to San Diego Comic Con. I lost 2 whole lbs. just walking around for 5 days straight, but everything was excruciatingly painful. It was hard to sit, or stand or walk or live. Something had to give.

On July 21st, at 210 lbs. I started a 14 day modified juice fast. Initially I got the momster on board, though she fell off the wagon. It was Very Interesting. Sometimes, I gulped the juice down because it was like Mana from Heaven. Other times I had to quaff it like a shot, because it was the nastiest tasting swamp muck from the Devil's Ass EVAR. 

My clients loaned me their juicer, the Omega 8003. It was Sweet.

I hit 194 on August 4th; that's a 23 pound weight loss for those of you that care about that sort of thing. That was just so awesome my head exploded. I had tried and tried to lose weight. It seemed like I was doomed to ruin myself. Thank you Deity, thank you Universe, for sending me some relief from my own craziness.

Basically after the juice fast was done, I switched over to EXTREME VEGETARIANISM! No animal products at all - NO, do not say the "v" term (for those of you that are aware of such a term). I hate labels. I also eliminated sugar, gluten and caffeine from my diet. Also, not eating meat products means separating myself even further from the Shambling Hordes. Think on it, you know I did.

I had to reestablish a relationship with vegetables. I thought I didn't like them. I felt salads were a tool of the Skinny Man to oppress me when I went out to eat at restaurants. I felt a lot of resentment and anger at veggies and it wasn't their fault. Now I eat Faux-sagna, and Curried Cauliflower and Chai Spice Pancakes and I love it. LOVE IT. If you want the recipes, I'll post them, but someone's gotta ask.

It is nice. I felt energetic and happy! These feelings are buoyed by consistent exercise – Yoga and Body Conditioning through the college twice a week combined with sporadic gym use and long walks.

At this point I have dropped to 186. This weight has fluctuated lately because I am full of crazy and am back to trying to sabotage myself when I approach success. I can’t let this happen.

Why? Zombies! Of course. It always leads back to them and my complete aversion to becoming one. Some of you may think this ridiculous, but then riddle me this. How is a person who wanders through their life just existing, going back and forth to work, watching t.v. and living in a quiet desperation any different from the Walking Dead? They don’t push themselves or explore their world. They wait for everything to come to them exerting the minimum of effort whether it’s ideas, entertainment or sustenance. I would never want to be this way.

The Bloggess says you should be Furiously Happy in your life. I agree. I’m just gonna add Furiously, Happily Non-Undead. Or something like that. It’s a work in progress. Shut Up.

Said All I Need to Say for Today.

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