Just the Facts

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I'm a Chronologically-challenged Optimistic Procrastinator with some extra chunk, indescribable hair and blue-greener eyes re-entering into the interesting worlds of College and Caffeine and Self-induced mania. I day dream about Zombies cause sometimes an Apocalypse is less scary than Real Life. I'm a hustler baby and I'm making it all up and I alternately kiss ass and rub it to make my living. BUT Life is still good cause my mom thinks I'm special and people like me; they really like me!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Walking my Talk before the End Cometh...

I realized tonight that it was October 2011. That's like...fourteen months before the End of the World, or so they say. And I know what you're thinking, why am I listening to them again, when did they ever get it right? Better safe than sorry on this one, people.

So, back to my point. I do have one, swear! I've had all these goals for a while now. And if the world is gonna end, I'll need to pick up the pace if I'm gonna make it in time. Because like...for example, can't see the world if it ends, ya know? Learning how to shoot a gun prior to the Apocalypse (and owning at least one) might be a good idea. Not gonna have time to finish one of my books running and hiding from our future Evil Overlords in the sewer when the government hits full-on Big Brother Evolution and comes to enslave us all. Or whatever.

This is called being "proactive", boys and girls. Say it with me - Pro-Act-Ive. Just because you have no conceivable way of predicting the future, doesn't mean you shouldn't be ready. You've gotta use your imagination to imagine the worst and then prep for it! Zombies (of course, my favorite!), Nuclear Wolves (this was new and I had never heard of them before), Imminent Economic Collapse, A rampant world wide plague or a comet crashing into the planet. Get On It People!

I know that it hasn't been my best quality in the past, but I am getting better. I grok this to be true BECAUSE I went through my goals and realized I had accomplished some of them, the harder ones too. I also accomplished some I didn't even know I'd made for myself.

A not so comprehensive list in no particular order:

  • Started my own business this year. 
  • Allowed myself to be Happy and Positive most of the time despite a possible law suit with my former Alpha Steroid Boss. 
  • Organized my books. 
  • Framed all my artwork and THEN hung it all up. Who knew this could ever be achieved?
  • Made new friends 
  • Stepped it up with my future financial security via an I.R.A and Life insurance, like a Bad Ass Mother Fu'ing Adult.
However, as monumental as these accomplishments are, they aren't necessarily gonna rescue me from a predatory alien race, so perhaps it's time for me to make a newer, more survive-y, practical list.
  • Start my own bomb shelter
  • Allow myself to be Hyper-vigilant and ruthless. 
  • Organize my gun collection. 
  • Frame all my neighbors and THEN hang them all up. Who knew this could ever be achieved? Especially with the crazy lady and her demon spawn next door. Grumble, grumble, grumble.
  • Stockpile food. YUM. I love me some dinner in a can.
  • Make friends with bikers. (Never know when you need a quick getaway with some friendly acquaintances who don't give a hoot about little things like...the Law.) <--This is me whispering. Don't tell the authorities, 'kay?
  • Step it up on the physical fitness. You can't outrun those 28 Days zombies if you are carrying a spare set of tires. You can't outrun a riot at all, but I guess I shouldn't be so defeatist.
  • Enjoy myself now, cause after the world ends, no one will ever enjoy themselves again, except psychopaths...
  • WAIT. Become psychopath.
Ah clarity. Thanks you guys. You acted like a sounding board to my insanity. 

Nuff said.

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