Just the Facts

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I'm a Chronologically-challenged Optimistic Procrastinator with some extra chunk, indescribable hair and blue-greener eyes re-entering into the interesting worlds of College and Caffeine and Self-induced mania. I day dream about Zombies cause sometimes an Apocalypse is less scary than Real Life. I'm a hustler baby and I'm making it all up and I alternately kiss ass and rub it to make my living. BUT Life is still good cause my mom thinks I'm special and people like me; they really like me!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Perhaps I have gained a new super power in 2011

I may have gained the power to turn invisible. But like, only sporadically, and not within my own control. Three people tried to run me down while I traversed the road today within a 10 minute period. Each time, I was in a crosswalk when I had the little green man. I wasn't jaywalking, I was...legally walking across the street. Three times. Tried to run me down. This has happened before, but not in such quantities.

The first time, I was sharing the crosswalk with a rather musclebound gent who smirked when I asked the approaching female driver, "What the fuck do you think you're doing, asshole?" Perhaps he found it somewhat ironic because despite asking the question, I didn't really expect an answer. The other couple of times, I just mad dogged the excrable motorists and stomped my way across the street in ill humor. So I've decided it's got to be Uncontrollable, Sporadic Invisibility, otherwise, my belief in my fellow man is going to plummet.

In other news, I am having a freak out about work. This is due to an extreme lack of confidence in myself to survive as a adult and an extreme lack of spine in dealing with my alpha steroid boss. I hate myself when I interact with this guy. I have a point of view. I want to convey it with feminine strength and conviction. I end up relaying only part of my message and in the form of a question. I want to assert my rights and request my fair share. I end up in a ball of self-loathing blithely accepting a shitty deal. Meh.

So, since I'm freaking out, a gratitude list:
1)Lost 3 lbs.
2)Friends and Family
3)I got amazing cool presents this past holiday.
4)I am sticking to my diet plan.
5)I wrote this post which means I did what I said I would so good for me.
6)I'm alive.
7)I'm a hustler and I'll figure a way out of this.
8)I did the dishes.
9)My fish is alive.
10)My bank balance is positive if rather small.
*11)I may have Uncontrollable, Sporadic Invisibility. Possibly useful in the upcoming devastation.

See, the intrepid, young heroine needs to learn to keep a stalwart positivity about her at all times. During a Zombie Apocalypse, there's going to be a lot of bad crap going down. People would give their left testicle (even if they were a girl) just to have my top ten, I mean eleven list during a Z.A. This is cause instead of my whiny list, there would be dead people everywhere (maybe people they know), and it might be cold cause the power could go out and they might be hungry and thirsty cause they either couldn't find food or couldn't get to it.
And the only way to keep on keeping on is to turn that frown upside down before you kill yourself or others or let the ravening hordes eat your face off out of despair. That's all I have to say.

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