The Struggle is Real

Hello All. It's been a while. I graduated Mira Costa College with an Associates in Health Science. Now, I am going to SDSU for my Bachelors in Foods & Nutrition and then ultimately a Masters in "Something As of Yet Undecided". 

I want to be a Registered Dietitian which also requires a year long, costly internship on top of it. I am not certain what direction I want to take with my degree once out of college, but I am struggling with the whole process because of my weight.

I see my tiny, little, bitty peers who are 15-20 years younger and then look in the mirror. My peers are in excellent shape. They play sports, run marathons, lift weights, do yoga etc. Though they drink and eat college foods, they are for the most part good food-choicers.

I see them and have to reconcile myself somewhere in this picture. I also have to fight the dark voices within to manifest the light I want to be in the community. And in the end, I need to be gentler with myself.

I found a blog called "Fat Nutritionist" and it is offering a pretty unique perspective that is actually tailored to me and was unable to fully read it. I think that the knowledge/ideas presented within its electronic pages will prove to be very uncomfortable for me and my current modes of thought, but necessary. We will see.

It talks about being healthy at all sizes. If you are exercising, choosing healthy foods and mentally happy - it doesn't matter how big you are. This conflicts with most of the things I've been told about health for my whole life. I feel like the world is rocky.

But right now, I am trying to write a shopping list of viable food sources for obtaining nutrition for a fair cost and minimal prep. So, a shopping list made out of unicorns and rainbows. Or maybe not. If I make good choices, maybe it doesn't have to be as structured as I have convinced myself. We will see.